Stress seems to be part of everyone’s daily life. However you don’t have to live with stress. There are a variety of things you can do to break away from life’s burdens. One way is through Martial Arts. The skills that are taught in Martial Arts are very similar to the skills that are taught to relieve stress. Martial Arts involves the ability to balance your body and mind and build up the confidence you need to tackle your stressful lifestyle head on.
Breathing and meditation are a big part of Martial Arts. Through breathing and meditation you are able to control and connect your body and mind. There are a variety of meditation positions: standing, sitting, moving and kneeling. It is important that you find the position that works best for you,.
Some of the breathing techniques include inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. It is also important that you take deep breaths. In order to assure your breaths are deep enough, place your hand on your stomach. You should be able to feel your stomach pushing out as you breathe.
Stress is a state of mind that builds up and is displayed as physical symptoms. Such symptoms then tell you that you need to do something about the stress. As you become more aware of the stressful triggers and your body, you will be able to avoid such situations. Instead of letting the stress take over your life and body, you can work through the stress with the breathing techniques you learned in Martial Arts.
Kung Fu is another name often associate with Martial Arts. Kung fu does not only encompass self defense, it also encompasses self respect and discipline as well as patience. Therefore Kung Fu is not only a great work out for your body, it is also a great workout for your mind.
In general, when you are in better shape, you are less stressed. Working out with Kung Fu can help get you in better shape. Working out using Kung Fu also helps to relieve stress. Endorphins are released when working out and are a great source to make someone happy. The release of endorphins also helps to lower your blood pressure.
Although today’s lifestyle is often indicative of stress, you do not have to live with it. Martial Arts is a great way to relieve the stress you face on a day to day basis. Martial Arts works not only with your body, but also your mind. Through breathing and mediation you can easily lower your every day stress. So the next time you are dealing with less than perfect life situations, consider giving Martial Arts a chance. Chances are you will find you are in a much better place and without stress after a workout.
Many people come in contact with martial arts first as children, and it can be hard for them to shake the feeling that martial arts is just for kids. Nothing could be further from the truth, however, and as an adult, there are plenty of benefits that you can gain from stepping on the mat and taking a shot at something like tae kwon do, aikido or jujitsu. Plenty of adults take advantage of martial arts classes in their area and you will find that these classes have plenty to offer you.
First and foremost, martial arts will help you develop physically. Rather than being a workout that only focuses on one aspect of your health and physical well being, martial arts takes a more full body wellness approach. You will receive instruction that helps you gain flexibility as well as muscle tone, something that can be very important if you work at an office or spend most of the day in front of a computer! Martial arts is a great way for you to get in shape and stay there.
Martial arts also has an impressive ability to help you maintain your body. Have you been plagued with a yo-yoing weight your whole life? When you work in martial arts, you will be able to maintain your physique. The constant regular workouts will provide you with a routine that you can use to stabilize your weight, something that is very important in terms of staying healthy as you age.
If you are missing a spiritual element in your life, you can find many schools of martial arts that will help you find it. Martial arts is about a wellness of the mind as well as of the body and you will find that there is a great deal that you can discover by working towards both at once. Many martial arts schools emphasize how equally important the body is to the mind and vice versa.
Finally, keep in mind that martial arts can make you a great more confident in the face of the world around you. A good martial arts class will push your physical limits and more often than not, you will find that you are a capable of a great deal more than you thought you were. With the confidence comes a degree of discipline you may not have had before. Martial arts can be demanding in terms of commitment, and the discipline you learn on the mats is something that will be carried through to the rest of your life.
The key is to finding a school that suits you. Unless you are planning to learn along with your child, skip the schools that have children as students; the atmosphere is totally different and whether you are interested in getting in touch with your spirituality or getting a real workout, having children around can change that. Go to a few studios in the area around you and check them out. The atmosphere you get from a school that focuses primarily on going to competitions is very different from the one that works on balance, centering and looking within.
Whether you’re looking for more self-confidence or more control, more flexibility or more strength, there is a good chance that you can find it in a martial arts school!
Kung Fu is a Chinese martial art that mainly focuses on movements and strikes that are inspired by many animals. One of the animals that the Chinese emulated for their beautiful martial art is the White Crane. If you watch a White Crane in nature, you'll notice that it doesn't look very formidable at all. In fact, you're probably thinking that a martial art based on the movements of a bird is quite ineffective. However, the case is quite certainly the opposite. White Crane Kung Fu does emulate the bird it's named after but it's anything but ineffective. A true master of White Crane Kung Fu can defeat an opponent emulated after the most ferocious of creatures.
If you watch a White Crane in nature, it is a very delicate looking creature. Its body is perched atop two spindly legs. It sits completely still in the water, waiting for a fish to go by. When it sees a fish, it strikes, almost faster than the eye can see. Before you know it, it has a flopping fish hanging from its beak.
Lightning Fast Speed
A White Crane Kung Fu master will reveal the same delicate movements. He or she stands very still, waiting for an opening. Then, with lightning fast speed, he or she will strike, just like the crane does a fish. This delicate movement and lightning fast speed is the trademark of White Crane Kung Fu. It's not an easy martial art to master but once it is, the practitioner is a force to be dealt with.
White Crane Kung Fu has been around for centuries and it's quite possible that many of the ancient movements have been lost or forgotten. However, there are still many schools that offer lessons in Kung Fu. These schools offer many different styles such as Tiger, Monkey and even White Crane Kung Fu. These schools are becoming more popular all the time, especially since the release of certain movies that use these styles, such as the Matrix series.
To find a school that offers White Crane Kung Fu, check the local yellow pages or do an internet search. Even if they don't advertise certain styles, call local schools to see if they do, in fact, offer different styles such as White Crane. Once mastered, White Crane is a very beautiful, yet deadly, art. It embraces everything Kung Fu represents and the best part is that you'll have a lot of fun learning it.
Kung Fu is a fighting method practiced for centuries and introduced to the world by China. Kung Fu is a discipline in itself where you need to learn precise movements but also adopt as you go in order to improvise and defeat your opponent. Identifying Kung Fu Styles
There are many Kung Fu styles and they are generally identified by movement, region and environment. There are two main types of Kung Fu styles and they are hard styles, which usually is practiced with hard strikes and soft Kung Fu, which are mostly practiced by the help of movements with which the attention of the opponent is diverted and thus, one can strike. The way in which the fighter moves can also identify the Kung Fu style they are practicing, for example linear Kung Fu style is known when it is practiced by straight line movements and circular Kung Fu style is known when it is practiced by circular motions.
The Change of Kung Fu
Kung Fu has been changed and adopted as needed by the time and era to suit the fighting needs and thus, hundreds of styles were created in the process depending on the region, environment and era when they were practiced.
Initially, Kung Fu was adopted from animal movements and mixed with the high power of meditation and sometimes the capability to read the opponent’s intention. In Kung Fu precision is the most important factor, as most times you will fight with bare hands.
Learn Kung Fu for Self Defense
Kung Fu can be learned today around the world whenever you want in a traditional class or even online and thus, you can be ready to protect yourself always. However, ensure that you learn with a certified instructor so you will learn the right moves and not waste your money and time in the process.
You will learn with time that Kung Fu styles are also adopted by each person in part as you too with time will develop your own moves and techniques which you may find better for your posture, weight and age at this time. Kung Fu has been changed and to fit the required time and era, improved its techniques as well as it developed movements to combat with the modern factors that we find in our world as well.
Start learning Kung Fu and always have peace of mind because you will know that you are safe and who knows you may be the next who will introduce a new Kung Fu style for the next generation to come.
Kung Fu is far from being a discipline that has been newly developed and utilized. Indeed, this practice is an ancient discipline that was only recently introduced to the Western civilization. This introduction was through martial arts movies and was particularly popularized in the West by a Kung Fu expert by the name of Bruce Lee.
Often, this practice is thought of as a means of self defense and its various moves and procedures that could be used in combat situations. All of this is true; however, Kung Fu is more than a sport or method of fighting as depicted in these films and as portrayed by Hollywood.
History of Kung Fu
The roots of Kung Fu are found in China and date well into the era of pre A.D. The ideology of Kung Fu is grounded in a well-rounded approach to life. This well-rounded approach includes the improvement of all phases of the individual as well as techniques that aid in self-preservation or the use of self-defense in combat. Therefore, Kung Fu blends the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical natures of an individual and understands that there are combatant forces within the person as well as those exerted on a person from outward forces. The term Kung Fu literally means "time" and "effort". Therefore one of the basic tenets of this practice refers to any action which is met with a perception that maturity, in all aspects of the human being, is attained through the gift of time. It is important to remember that although this is martial arts and involves self-defense and combat, it is just as much about the building of character and following the right path.
Benefits of Kung Fu
There are many benefits that can be attained by the individual who practices the discipline of Kung Fu. In addition to learning how to defend one's self from possible aggressors, there are some health benefits that can be realize. These health benefits directly affect the mind and spirit of the individual.
To properly practice the discipline of Kung Fu it is important to know that the outward actions are an extension of what is occurring on the inside of the disciple. These inward qualities blend together self-control, focus the mind and energy, increase confidence in one's ability, the use of the power of imagery and provide the enlightenment that all aspects of humanity are interconnected.
In addition, as one continues on their journey of deepening their experience, the individual realizes that their actions and thinking must be expressions of goodness. This course of action is demonstrated because the advanced disciple of Kung Fu realizes that creation is all interconnected. Ultimately, as one grows in their Kung Fu experience, the reality of singleness and oneness becomes the dominating theme.
Learning how to meditate is one of the most difficult, yet ultimately one of the most rewarding practices you can undertake. Although many people initially learn to meditate as a simple way to relax and decrease stress, meditation often becomes a lifelong practice. Take it from me, there is nothing that will enrich you more than learning to meditate.
The most important factor in learning how to meditate is setting up a regular practice. Good breathing is important. Sitting in the right posture is important. But neither of these factors are nearly as important to how to meditate as having a good space and time that is your own. If you want to learn meditation, it is better to practice in the same quiet, solitary location at the same time for 10 minutes each and every day than to practice meditation for three hours once a week. Meditation, after all, is all about regulating and relaxing your thoughts. Before you can learn how to meditate, you need a place where you feel safe, a place that is set aside every day for the sole purpose of meditating.
From there, there are many approaches to how to meditate. For me, I prefer the simple techniques for learning meditation. The very first thing that you must do is learn to focus on your own breath. This may sound simple, but it is not easy. You cannot learn how to meditate until you can learn how to direct your focus inward, and this part alone can take years. Nonetheless, you do not need to master meditation before you start to feel the benefits. They will start almost immediately. Although the rewards of knowing how to meditate are inexpressible, just studying meditation itself will greatly increase the quality of your life. If you want to know how to meditate, it is crucial that you find a teacher.
Meditation books, meditation CDs, and meditation videos can all help you get started, but a teacher is indispensable if you want to make any progress in learning how to meditate. Fortunately, almost every major city has several schools of meditation operating within it. You can learn how to meditate from a student of Buddhist meditation, transcendental meditation, or one of many other schools. Although there is a lot of disagreement about what school is the best, any of them will give you great benefits. From there, it is simply a matter of learning what works for you.
Cyber-bullying even goes beyond the limits of traditional victim/bully relationship. Some cyber-bullies are ex-boyfriends or girlfriends who want to get revenge on their ex. They use technology to stalk, harass and spread rumors about the other person.
When the victim is someone from school, he or she often gets bullied in "real life" in school and then the bully continues it when they get home so the victim rarely gets a break from the torment.
When the bully doesn't even know who the target is, bullying can be especially dangerous when they don't know the background of the person they are harassing.
Why do some people view cyber-bullying as "just a game"? Many children and teens play role-playing games online which involve making up personas and avatars. They easily transfer this concept to instant messaging, chat rooms, and email when they make up names and avatars even though they are talking to real people. To add to this concept, they often feel invisible because it's just a computer and a keyboard and no "real people" to evoke empathy as a result of their actions.
How do cyber-bullies justify their actions? Cyber-bullies use the concept of free speech to justify their actions - they know by law they can say what they want on-line and in text messaging. They simply fail to understand that even though it's legal, it may not be right. They also often feel like they won't get caught so it’s okay or that everyone is doing it, so it's okay.
How do you know if your child is cyber-bullying? If your child spend unusually long hours on the computer, is secretive about his or her internet activity, often closes windows when you approach the computer and begins falling behind on school work.
What can happen to cyber-bullies? Victims of cyber-bullying can find out who is harassing them even when the bullies think they are being anonymous. Most of the time, people leave what is called "cyber footprints" when they surf the internet and that goes for cyber-bullies as well. Even when they make anonymous accounts, experts can trace where they've been and see what they"ve done. Families of victims of cyber-bullying can take legal action against the parents of the cyber-bully. Read Part 3 here.
When we do classes and seminars on bullying, we feel that it's important to let people know who bullies really are and what makes them tick. There is so much more to being a bully than simply being mean to someone else.
Who is a bully? First of all, people who bully are often people who have (often secretly) low self-esteem and they turn to bullying to hide their perceived inadequacies. They do this by pointing out inadequacies in other people and trying to get people to fear them.
Bullies often also look for ways to avoid responsibility for their actions or have simply never been taught that there are consequences to certain actions. Often times they are clever enough to avoid being caught by anyone who might force them to face the consequences.
They also lack empathy which means they are unable to see the true effects of their behavior on other people, such as so-called "mean girls" who use their relationship powers to control, exclude and otherwise torment others in terms of relational issues. In addition, they are good at creating conflict between other people and like to know that they have the "power" to force others into a conflict and then they like to sit back and watch it play out.
Some bullies also often have aggression issues and often don’t have the skills to handle conflict without resorting to this aggression. This often what you see when you think of the typical male bully who "roughs up" those who are physically smaller and weaker than himself.
Other common characteristics of bullies is that they have often been bullied themselves either by a peer or parent (as in different forms of child abuse), they often have poor relationships with their parents or guardians and they are not well supervised by their caregivers. Bullies are often people who have suffered rejection at some point in their lives. They are also more likely to be involved in substance abuse and smoking and are more likely to suffer from depression than their peers who do not bully others.
How are cyber-bullies different than traditional bullies? While traditional bullies are more often males, cyber-bullies are equally male and female. They are often from affluent communities that often have high speed internet access. They can be "real-life" bullies as well, but people who would not bully someone in real life often finds it easy to bully someone in cyberspace, so you find people cyber-bullying that you wouldn't expect to bully another person.
What role does anonymity play in cyber-bullying? Many children and teens feel that the anonymity of the internet is a protective barrier to keep them from being caught. This anonymity gives many children and teens the confidence they need to say and do things they wouldn't dream of doing in real life - and certainly things they'd be embarrassed about if the adults in their life knew they were saying and doing. The issue with the internet is they don't feel like anyone will ever find out so they think it's okay to do.
Along the same lines of anonymity is the concept of "You can't see me, I can't see you." The fact that they cannot see the emotions and reactions of the person they are bullying so they often get out of control or cross lines they wouldn't cross if they could see how their actions actually affect the other person.
What kinds of relationships to cyber-bullies have with their victims? This is a vast and varied characteristic of cyber-bullying. For example, the victim can be a friend or former friend, a school mate, someone they've met on one or a few occasions or a complete stranger that they've met in chat rooms.
What is bullying? Simply said, bullying is abuse. It is often persistent and can include such things as threatening, fault finding, insulting or frightening… anything that abuses power thrives on an imbalance of power. The bully likes to use his or her power to make the victim react.
What are the types of bullying? There are many different types of bulling. The more traditional forms of bullying include physical bullying such as hitting and shoving and threats of physical harm, verbal bullying such as mocking, teasing and name calling and emotional bullying such as exclusion from social groups or events and rumor spreading. The newest form of bullying is cyber-bullying which uses email, instant messages, websites and text messaging, for example, to harass someone in the form of threatening, mocking, teasing, name calling, excluding and rumor spreading.
How is cyber-bullying different than traditional bullying? The biggest different between cyber-bullying and traditional bullying is that the time and place of the bullying changes. In traditional bullying, the victim can usually retreat to his or her house for a reprieve from the harassment. Home is usually a safe-haven. With cyber-bullying, victims often cannot escape the abuse because the technology of email, text messages, instant messages, the Internet and cell phones give bullies constant access to their victims. Oftentimes, bullies cannot wait to get home from school so that they can continue to terrorize their victims. Additionally, cyber-bullying is different from traditional bullying because rumors and other information can spread so much more quickly with technology than it can spread traditionally. Someone can spread a rumor about another person to everyone on their buddy list with the click of a button - almost instantly, ten, twenty or even a hundred people can read a rumor and begin spreading to people they know.
Why is cyber-bullying so much worse than traditional bullying? The biggest reason why cyber-bullying is so much worse than traditional bullying is that there is no defined time or location for the bullying. The victim is almost always reachable through the advances in technology. This makes cyber-bullying so much more invasive than traditional bullying because the victim literally has an extremely difficult time escaping from the harassment. Additionally, cyber-bullying can occur around the clock. Even if the victim isn't using the Internet twenty-four hours a day, he or she might get home from school or wake up in the morning to an inbox full of threatening messages. Traditional bullying has a relatively small audience. Only the people in the direct vicinity of the bullying are there to see the victim's humiliation, but with cyber-bullying there can be literally hundreds or thousands (or more) of people watching the conversation or visiting an embarrassing website.
A final reason why cyber-bullying is so terrible is the idea that when people have the "protection" of not seeing their victim face-to-face they are often more cruel and do and say things they would never do in person.
What are some examples of cyber-bullying?
Cyber-bullying can take many different forms. It can be direct bullying where people send vicious and/or threatening messages to their victim's cell phone or email or they write the messages to the victim in a chat room or via instant messaging. This is also called cyber stalking. There is also indirect cyber-bullying, also called denigration, where a person or group of people creates websites that have cartoons, photographs or videos that can potential humiliate another person. These websites can also have "incriminating" stories (true or not) and jokes that ridicule others. Another tactic common to cyber-bullying is when people post surveys on the web asking people to vote for "the most (offensive comment)" in the class.
Instant messaging can be confusing for victims of cyber-bullying because sometimes, often girls, will decide to victimize another girl. This happens when a group of girls are together and they go online and seek out someone to victimize. The group poses as just one person and starts a conversation. Then, they eventually get the victim to say something mean or insulting about one of the other girls in the group and use that information to harass the victim. This is also called trickery.
Another type is impersonation. This is when cyber bullies break into someone else's email account. They pose as this other person and send insulting or rude messages to another person. The bully then sits back and watching the fight with the satisfaction that he or she started the conflict.
Camera phones can also be quite useful for bullies. There have been reported incidents of people taking photos of school mates in the locker while changing. These pictures can be circulated to large numbers of students in a very short period of time to private or online groups. Sending these pictures or other hateful or otherwise harmful messages is known as flaming.
If you're a regular reader, you know what I say about martial arts - that it's great for the body and mind. Well, here’s some proof to what I've been telling you.
The British Journal of Sports Medicine published a study that shows that people who practice martial arts are getting the physical exercise they need and that it gives them an extra boost when it comes to physical activities and abilities.
The study, completed by the New York Institute of Technology, found that middle-aged people (between the ages of 40 and 60) who practice martial arts are able to do more sit ups, push ups and are more flexible than those who don't exercise. The people who practice martial arts also have less body weight than those who don't exercise at all.
People in this age group say they like practicing martial arts because their clothes fit better, they lose weight and they feel like they are actively fighting the signs of aging.
This is great news for people who have yet to find an exercise regimen that they enjoy. It shows that practicing martial arts is a great alternative for those who don’t like lifting weights or working out on a treadmill or other "traditional" exercises.
There are so many reasons why training martial arts is a great activity for people of all ages, but I'm just going to tell you about five of them here. The best part about these reasons is that they apply to children and adults and everyone in between.
Self-Defense. Training martial arts is like insurance. You hope you never need it, but you're happy to have it when the need arises. Contrary to what many people think about training martial arts is that they do not promote violence. In fact, the biggest part of self defense that you get from martial arts is the focus, awareness, concentration and confidence you gain to handle pretty much any situation that comes your way before it gets physically violent. It does, however, also give you the physical skills to defend your self if you need to.
Discipline. We all know what it means and we all need more of it. Martial arts is known for its ability to create discipline in adults and children. This discipline comes in the form of focus, concentration and respect - all skills taught through training martial arts. Anyone who trains martial arts need to be able to focus and concentrate on what they are doing so that they do not injure themselves or those around them and this concentration and focus carry over to other parts of their lives - work, home and school. Another aspect taught through training martial arts is respect of others. Put these together and you have someone who has the discipline to get done what needs to get done.
Self-Confidence. You probably see it all the time. The self-confident person seems to get all the breaks. Martial arts can give you or your child the self confidence you need to succeed. Training martial arts has a way of helping you believe in yourself and this will help you to stop standing in your own way of success. Training martial arts also helps you get in tune with your mind and body which gives you the skills you need to control and defend yourself as well as handle whatever situations that come your way.
Fitness AND Fun. Yes, you can use both of those words in the same sentence and they can go hand in hand with martial arts. One of the reasons why people quit at their fitness programs is that they get bored. That's what happens when the join a gym and plan to do the same thing over and over again. With martial arts, you are learn skills that stay with you even when you're not training and it changes all the time so it stays challenging and you won't get bored like you might doing other exercises.
Stress Relief. Most people agree that any type of exercise is a great stress reliever, but most exercises only work to relieve physical stress. Martial arts, because of the concentration and focus needed to do correctly, also help relieve emotional stress. Many types of martial arts incorporate forms of meditation as well that help reduce stress levels. Just like the other skills, the methods used during martial arts training to reduce stress can be carried over to other parts of life as well.
With all of these great reasons to train martial arts, you owe it to yourself and your child to enroll in classes. It's hard to pass up these benefits and once you start you'll soon notice how these skills can change your life.
In many oriental nations, martial arts are taught to school children how P.E. is a part of our children's school day. If we would make the shift from general P.E. to a martial arts curriculum, we would be giving our children all the benefits of a general P.E. class and so much more. Here's why:
General P.E. classes aim to teach many different skills that promote physical fitness and a healthy lifestyle. Along with this important life skill, P.E. also aims to teach cooperation, taking turns and following rules among other social skills. Martial arts teach all of these and more. It's obvious that martial arts are a great form of physical fitness just as the activities in P.E. are, but martial arts have an advantage. Martial arts are exercises that children, adolescents, adults and even older adults can practice regularly - it is an activity that can continue through life. Unlike "pickle ball" or the "shuttle run", school children won't outgrow the ability or desire to practice martial arts as they get older. It is a lifestyle rather than an exercise.
The social skills taught in P.E. can also be enhanced through martial arts. Because of the nature of martial arts, people often find that practicing martial arts requires concentration and focus and these skills carry over to other parts of life as well - including school work and, later, jobs and family. Additionally, martial arts tend to focus on respect (both for self and others) which is a great asset for any school child and will give the child the skills needed to cooperate, take turns and follow rules appropriately.
Some people worry that teaching martial arts in schools will foster a sense of violence and give bullies the skills they need to continue harming others. Martial arts do the opposite, however. A common characteristic of bullies is that they lack impulse control and also don't know how to manage their anger. Martial arts can solve for that because it helps reduce stress, it improves concentration and control and it teaches respect of others. In this sense, it also helps children who are bullied because it gives them the confidence they need to combat bullying before it even starts.
Just think about the change in society if everyone had martial arts as part of their daily lives. We'd be more physically fit, but we'd also have a greater sense of respect towards one another as well.
If you have a school-aged child, he or she is very likely to have been involved in bullying to some extent. As a martial arts instructor, I see parents coming in all the time to ask for advice about how to "bully-proof" their children. There used to be a rather straightforward answer that involved teaching children the skills they needed to fend off the bully that approached them in the school yard or on the way to or from school.
Now, we are seeing that bullying is changing. It doesn't necessarily involve a "brute" of a boy picking on the small kid, shy kid or just plain different kid. It doesn't just occur during school hours. It doesn't just involve nasty notes or writing on the bathroom walls. Bullying has evolved as quickly as technology has been evolving because all these great advances that are supposed to make our lives easier serve as the medium for bullying. Bullying now includes a space on the World Wide Web with an audience that's too large to count, but even though the medium has changed, it's still abuse and it's still a way for one person (or group of people) to thrive on an imbalance of power to terrorize someone else.
It's called cyber-bullying and it can permeate literally every aspect of your child's life. We know that about one third of kids say they have been bullied at least once and that about one tenth of kids admit that they are bullied every day. These numbers don't include the children who are bystanders who observe the bullying but do nothing to stop it. If that's your kid, you're lucky because those who are actively involved in cyber-bullying can suffer grave consequences whether they are the bully or the bullied.
Some people immediately jump to the thought that technology can easily be banned from the affected children's lives, but the issue goes much deeper than that. Cyber-bullying is not simply a technological issue, but an issue of what we are teaching (or not teaching) our children on how they can use these great advances to interact with the people in their lives and how today's children are held responsible for their actions.
It's also very important for parents to know about this modern form of bullying and how to handle it as well as what we can do to teach our kids to empathetic and give them the skills they need so that they are not likely victims. That's what we do when we have bullying seminars and self-defense courses for children and the results of teaching them these skills are very positive.
It's that time of year again when people start spouting off what they plan on doing to make themselves better over the next twelve months. January is the month that the fitness centers are packed. January is the month that people diet like it's going out of style. January is the month that people finally give up that bad habit "once and for all". Then February rolls around and the hype of the new year has worn off as well as the gung-ho attitude that most people had concerning their New Year's Resolutions.
There are many reasons why your resolutions fizzle out well before the year is really underway. You may have "cheated" and therefore assume it's not worth continuing. You might not have the support system you need to keep going, especially if you're trying to make a big change. You also might not have really defined what exactly it is you want to do so there is too much leeway in terms on what you can and cannot do to reach your goal.
Here are some tips to help you off to a great start - and carry your new resolutions through until 2008!
Make a plan. Instead of thinking of it as a New Year's resolution, think of it as a goal. That way you can change it, reinvent it and redefine it throughout the year. If your goal is to get fit this year, make short goals to carry you through the year. For January, your goal may be to start training martial arts and attend a training session two times per week. As you move into February, re-evaluate how it's working for you. You may want to add a class or set a goal of mastering a specific move by the end of the month. Having short, attainable goals is more motivating than simply having a vague resolution to "get fit".
Set up a support system. Find a workout partner to go with you or at the very minimum to keep you accountable for reaching your mini-goals. If you cannot find someone "in real life" there is most likely a virtual support group already in place online. These virtual support groups are great because you will likely meet people who have the same struggles and obstacles that you go through on a daily basis to reach your goal and you can swap ideas to help you beat them.
Think about why you really want to reach this goal. If you want to get fit, why do you want to get fit? To avoid disease, to get more energy? To be there for your family? Whatever the reasons are, these can help motivate your throughout the year. Don't be afraid to write down these reasons and post them in a visible spot to remind you every day why you are doing this. Don't get discouraged. You will have bad days. Expect that that's going to happen. The key to having a bad day in terms of reaching your goal is to not give up. If you have a bad day, just tell yourself that tomorrow is another day and use the new day to get back into the swing of things.
Setting a New Year's resolution is a great idea - if you can take the proper steps to help you stick with it. The biggest thing is to not put it off. If you want to lose weight, stop smoking or get fit start NOW and work your way through the year using small steps and mini goals.
Go to any forum on kung fu or martial arts and you are going to read the, "What is the difference between kung fu and gung fu?" The answer is...nothing. This is like saying what is the difference between pop and soda? The difference is dialect and what part of the country your are from. Kung fu comes from the Mandarin dialect; which is prominent in Northern China. Gung fu is Cantonese from Southern China. Both are translated to the same thing; "hard work" or "effort."
Don't let little things like dialect distract you from the true reason you train a martial art, because you like it.
Many Chinese self-defense systems are built on the five animal system. The animals in the five animal system, considered the five classic animals, are the: tiger, dragon, crane, leopard, and snake. While styles involving the eagle, monkey, praying mantis, and others have been developed, they are not part of the original five animal form. Future articles will examine each of the classic animals; this article will focus on the history and evolution of the five animal system.
The five animal system was developed in the Shaolin Temple. The story goes that Zen (Chan) Buddhism was brought to China by Bodhidarma (Da Mo in Chinese). He spent several years meditating with the monks in the Shaolin Temple. After a few years Da Mo realized that the monks spent so much time sitting in meditation that their physical condition and health were poor. With the threat of attack on the temple by bandits Da Mo began teaching the monks exercises to improve their strength and health, and a few basic self-defense techniques to defend the temple.
In those days it was uncommon for the Chinese citizens to receive martial arts training unless they were in the military. So, during the Tang dynasty, when China was at war, the monks were asked to help protect the people and the land. With several soldiers that had previous martial arts training becoming monks, and actual battle experience, the Shaolin martial arts became more refined.
One soldier-turned-monk in particular had a large hand in the evolution of the five animal system. Zhue Yuen noticed that the style of martial arts being taught in the Shaolin Temple was very external and required a lot of force. Zhue Yuen created a more balanced system that included internal techniques, such as redirection, as well the external striking techniques. The five animal form, the basis of the style, looked at different animals to find its balance. Each animal corresponds to a different aspect of training for a balanced mind and body.
Here is a promise that I think it's safe to make. Martial arts, taught right and practiced right, will not only get you into the best shape of your life; but give you focus, relieve stress, and boost your confidence to unbelievable heights. And it's all FREE!
Free? How is that? Well let's look at it this way. When you join a martial arts school you are paying to learn martial arts. Now if you pick the right school and the right teacher then you will also; get into fantastic shape, learn how to set goals, focus relieve stress and have confidence. You will build confidence in your body.
It's a mind, body and spirit experience. Now the trick is finding the right place and if you want help with that go to martial arts guide and get the free consumer guide on how to pick a school and style for you. Let's assume you have a great school and a good instructor. What can you expect?
What is self-defense? Have you ever talked yourself out of a bad situation? Have you ever had a bad feeling about walking to your car by yourself so you had someone walk with you? That is self-defense just as much as blocking punches and kicks. Any action that protects you is self-defense. In fact it is often the other aspects of self-defense, such as awareness and communication, which are just as important as the physical aspects of self-defense.
Attend any good self-defense class and a good portion of the class will be dedicated to teaching students awareness skills. Learning how to recognize and avoid bad situations is the best way to protect yourself. Parking in well-lit areas, walking to your car with your keys in your hand, and being aware of what is going on around you will prevent you from getting into a situation in which you have to defend yourself.
What is self defense? We have all gotten into arguments. Sometimes these arguments can escalate into fights. Being able to talk your way out of these situations before fists fly is self-defense just as much as blocking punches. Communication and negotiation skills are self-defense skills that can benefit you greatly.
Taking martial arts classes, or a self-defense course, will teach you how to physically defend yourself should the need arise. But, there are other mental aspects of self-defense that are just as important. The good thing about martial arts training is that, if done right, they well teach you both; the mental and the physical.
What is self defense? Self defense is staying in shape. Self defense is being aware so you don’t have to fight And self defense is using anything you can to stay safe. From your keys to your mind. Everyone should take at least a basic self defense course it could save your life and it wont hurt.
If you want more information on starting a self defense class please give us a call at the Academy of Kempo Martial Arts 800-508-6141 and we would be glad to help you. Ask about our 2 Week trial Course.
What is the best martial arts for self defense? Before they begin training many students ask that question. I thought that I should put this question to rest once and for all. The short answer is this; the best martial art for self defense is the one that works for you. Some styles simply work better for some people than for others. But, above all else, you have to believe in the system and style that you train.
That was the simple answer. Now lets go a little deeper. My background is in Chinese martial arts, and in the years that I have been training in the Chinese martial arts I have learned that your body will tell you what martial art is best for you. For instance, in Chinese martial arts we have the basic styles of the five animals, as well at Tai Chi and other internal and external styles. Some styles are best suited for certain body types than others. Someone who is small in stature will not necessarily be able to do the same things as a larger person. A smaller person may feel more comfortable with the internal, or "softer," side of the art; where as a larger person may be more comfortable with the external or "harder" side. That being said, there is nothing that says the reverse can't also be true. The trick is listening to what your body tells you.
The best martial art for self defense is the one that you can make work when actually faced with a self defense situation. You have to believe in the style that you train. If you don't believe that your style would actually work in a real life situation, then it won't. If you train a style that isn't suited for your body type, you may have trouble applying it when you need it. Listen to your body when training martial arts, but also listen to your mind. If you don't believe in your style, your training is useless. Even if you train the "wrong" style for your body, your belief in yourself and your style will help you prevail.
In reality, there is no single "best martial art for self defense." There are different martial arts for different people. Your body will tell you what styles and techniques work for you and which ones don't. But above all, it is your belief, trust and faith in yourself and your style that makes it the best martial art for you.
If you are ready to start to learn how to exercise correctly you should learn these exercise tips before you get started:
Pick an exercise. We like martial arts because it works the whole body as well as you learn how to defend yourself. As well as the mental benefits cant be matched by a gym or video workout.
Pick a time of day to start. Keep it consistent until it's a habit.
Get a physical. If you have not exercised for a time please tell your doctor what you have in mind.
Start slow and easy and learn to enjoy the process. It took you time to get out of shape it will take you time to get back into shape so be patience.
Read the rest of this article for more helpful tips on getting started and learning how to exercise smartly.
You know you need to exercise for better health and a better sense of well-being. The problem is that most people don't know how to exercise, and are often left feeling discouraged when they don't see any results. This is because exercise is only half of the answer, you have to know how to exercise correctly for proper gains, and you have to pair that with a sensible and healthy eating plan. One won't really work without the other if you don't know what you are doing. If you want to know how to exercise, you should start with proper breathing.
Panting away while you exercise can leave you feeling winded much too soon, and the amount of exercise you can accomplish in one session will not be what it should be. If you learn how to breath properly, you will get more done, and your body will get more out of your workout. You will find that simple breath techniques will be a part of any video or DVD that tries to teach you how to exercise. Make sure you master this before you get too far down your path towards a better lifestyle.
Once you know how to breathe, you may still be stuck as to how to exercise. You can start by deciding what you are most interested in doing. Sure, martial art classes will help burn calories, and you will learn self defense as well, but if you have absolutely no personal interest in doing this, you will stop after just a few sessions out of pure boredom. Remember that you have to enjoy what you are doing, or at least part of it. Exercise is work, but it can be fun too. You are going to have more fun when you learn how to exercise if you love what you are doing.
If you can't decide how to exercise to your full potential, it might be in your best interested to sign up at a local martial arts school and see what they have to offer you. Many have different programs, and they have instructors that can teach you how to exercise so you get the full benefit of your workouts. They may have suggestions for you, and the group dynamic may be just what you need to stay on track. They will show you proper form and breathing for all moves, and teach you how to exercise so that you are not injuring yourself. This makes exercise fun and rewarding. Plus if you chose martial arts you have the benefit of learning something as well. Need more information on martial arts feel free to give us a call at 800-508-6141 at the Academy of Kempo Martial Arts. We will try to guide you on the path. Good luck
Do you have a preschool-aged (or older) child who has ADHD or ADD? Many times parents are encouraged to medicate their children to help alleviate the symptoms that cause problems both at school and home. If this is something you've been dealing with, you may be at your wits end and willing to try just about anything to help your child handle their symptoms and relieve stress from their lives.
One of the most prescribed drugs for ADHS and ADD is Ritalin. Doctors are now even prescribing it for preschoolers; even though it has not been approved for children under the age of six. Studies have shown that the side effects of Ritalin are sometimes so great that parents have to stop treating their children with the drug. These side effects include a slowing of growth, weight gain, as well as insomnia.
The thing is, without the drug, many parents are at a loss as to what to do to help their children. There are alternatives however. One common alternative is changing the child's diet to eliminate additives such as artificial colors, flavors and sweeteners. Another alternative is to go through behavior training. This training gives the parents and children tips and tools to help them all function better together.
A third option is to enroll your child in martial arts. Many people overlook this option because they automatically think that the last thing a child with ADHD should be taught us "fighting skills." But, that is a myth about martial arts training.
Martial arts training actually focuses more on respect, concentration and focus and control through mastering the movements than on fighting. Children who suffer from ADHD often exhibit symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. When children train a martial art, they learn to have high levels of physical control, which come from a lot of practice, and a lot of self-discipline - achieved through mind and body control. Once children are able to control their body during training, they'll soon figure out how to control their impulses. Additionally, the concentration used during training will eventually carry over to the rest of their lives. This crossover alleviates the inattentive symptoms of ADD and hyper-activity.
At the Academy of Kempo Martial Arts we know that martial arts training truly does improve the lives of children and families struggling with ADHD. Many of our young students were brought to us by parents desperate to help their children who suffer from ADD or ADHD. I am proud to say that after training, even for a short period of time, these students experience drastic improvements. Even their school teachers report improved focus, concentration and performance in school.
The martial arts aren't about fighting - they are about learning to control the mind and body. No one can benefit from this more than a child suffering from the symptoms of ADD or ADHD.
It's true, stress can make you fat. It's because of a hormone called cortisol. This hormone is always present in your body, but your body secretes it at higher levels when it's under stress. Cortisol has positive effects on when it's secreted in small amounts - it gives you bursts of energy, increases memory function and lowers pain sensitivity. However, when secreted I larger amounts, Cortisol can have negative effects on your body and your health. It is necessary for us to reduce our stress level to keep cortisol levels under control. The thing is, we live in such a high-stress culture that some people's secretion of cortisol doesn't slow down and they live in a state of what is called chronic stress.
Chronic stress sufferers end up having many negative effects because of the high levels of cortisol in their systems. The effects include blood sugar imbalances, high blood pressure and increased abdominal fat. This is caused partially by the fact the people who secrete high levels of cortisol tend to eat more in general, and more specifically carbohydrates, than their counterparts who secrete less cortisol during stressful situations. This excess abdominal fat alone can be detrimental to your health because it increases your risks of heart attacks, strokes, and bad cholesterol.
The best way to combat the negative effects of high levels of cortisol is to give yourself opportunities to reduce your stress and "kick-in" your body's relaxation mechanisms. Most people do know that physical exercise is a great stress reliever. But what they don't know is that most traditional forms of exercise such as running, walking and jogging and aerobics classes only serve to help reduce the body's physical effects of stress. To get the full benefits of physical and mental stress reduction, people need to find activities that work their bodies and minds.
Training martial arts does this. It's impossible to train martial arts without fully concentrating on what you are doing. This concentration helps your mind relieve its stress as well. Activities like martial arts that require you to concentrate on your movements and core strength give you a well-rounded stress relief; not just on your body, but on your mind as well.
At the Academy of Kempo Martial Arts we use Shoalin breathing methods effectively accomplishing this goal of combating everyday stress. These kung fu breathing methods (which have been refined over 1500 years) include physical movements which relieve the physical symptoms of stress, and breathing patterns which clear the mind and relieve mental stress. Training these methods will help to bring down your levels of cortisol, which can help relieve another stressor in your life...needing to lose those few extra pounds.
So if your diet isn't working it might be stress. Combat stress and get in better shape by training the mind and the body with martial arts. Combined with a healthy diet and a positive life style you cant beat it!
To your health,
Robert Jones Master Instructor The Academy of Kempo Martial Arts Bellevue, WA. 800-508-6141
The mind is the master of the body. If we train and discipline our minds, the body will follow. Once the body and mind become focused and in tune, you will see that your whole life will seem to flow; like you are on the right path. In other words, you will not be fighting with yourself and good things will just seem to happen for you.
Here is an easy way to start training your mind:
First warm up your body so that you are not tired. A few minutes of light stretches will do the trick. Then sit very comfortably without loud music or distractions. (Can't find a place? Try the bathroom, you only need 5 minutes:).
Start by placing your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4 or so. Then breathe out through your mouth for a count of 6 to 8. Your out breath should always be longer than your in breath. Do this five to ten times. Focus on nothing but the count. Counting will give your mind something to focus on; which will help prevent the mind from wandering or being distracted. This simple exercise will re-energize you, re-focus you, and get your mind under control.
A few tips to go along with this breathing exercise:
1) Keep your back straight.
2) Eyes should remain open, but soften your vision. (Do not focus your eyes on anything specific)
3) Place your hands comfortably in your lap.
4) Breathe deep. Pull the air all the way to the bottom of your stomach.
5) Control the breath out. Don’t let the air just escape.
This is a very involved process and there are many reasons it works; too many to give you in one page. Just like aspirin, you may not know the chemical make up, but you know it gets rid of the headache. This exercise can get you focused, distress and unite the mind and body. It works if you do it. Try it for 2 weeks, for 3 to 5 minutes a day. You will be calmer and more focused than ever. Add some physical exercise, like martial arts, and you will get a one-two punch that can truly change your life.
I hope that this helps. We spend way to much time on everything and everyone but we seem to ignore ourselves. The time we spend on ourselves is less than most people spend brushing their teeth... We really owe it to ourselves to take a little time for just ourselves. I hope you can take some time for yourself to recharge, because everything is a continuous cycle and just as mediation breathing is a cycle, so is your positive energy and if you feel good you are passing that to others and the cycle continues. So good luck and if there is anything myself or my staff can do to help you please give us a shout.
To Your Health,
Robert Jones The Academy of Kempo Martial Arts Bellevue, WA. 1-800-508-6141 www.kungfutemple.com
You owe it to yourself to be the very best you can be in everything you do...why not in the martial arts as well?
These seven steps will help you along the path if you apply them. I can give them to you, but if you don't take action it's just another piece of knowledge that goes to waste. So start today and apply these seven simple steps and who knows you might be our next master...
Step 1: Practice Throughout The Day - Here is the truth; you don't have to train hours a day. In fact, it's better to take your training time and divide it into two or three sections. Do a little in the morning, a little in the afternoon, and a little in the evening. Three 15 minute sessions done everyday, or four times a week, can revolutionize your skill level-and it's easy. I could write a small book on this; its number one for a reason.
Step 2: Have Your Goal In Mind And Train For It - You need to train the proper way or you're wasting your time. For instance, if you want to train your speed, don't waste your time on exercises that aren't helping you progress toward your goal. I see this a lot. During your workout always ask yourself, "Is what I am doing right now getting me closer to, or farther from my goal?" - Don't underestimate this. Wasted time is lost forever, and may actually hold you back.
Step 3: Pay Attention To The Beginning And End of Each Motion, Technique or Exercise - You must start and end right. Most people get sloppy on the end of the movement because they think they have completed the motion and are just returning to a starting position. However, the end of a motion is just as important, because it is the beginning of your next motion or next attacker. If you end wrong your next technique will start wrong...that could cost you your life.
Step 4: Let Your Body Tell You What Works For You - This takes faith in yourself and your instructor. Do not let your mind get in the way by questioning everything you do. Let it happen...it will.
Step 5: Find a Training Partner - Train them and keep them. A training partner can make the difference between failure and mastery. Training with a partner also helps with motivation. You don't feel like training, but oops...your partner will be there, so you better not let them down. Just make sure your training partner is a good one. I had to go through about 8 before I found one that was good.
Step 6: Clear Your Mind Before and After Training- A busy mind can distract from your discipline. Sit and just focus on your breath until your thoughts slow down. Start and end your training the same way. It will turn your workout into a discipline and it does something else...
Step 7: Keep a Notebook of Your Training - Write in it everyday and use it. This is so important. Ask any distance runner if they have a running log or weightlifter if they keep records of their sessions. If you train, you need to keep notes. That is how you become a master. Read your journal or training log and keep track of what works. When you master the art, you will understand this point.
I actually have hundreds of tips, but I picked the ones I use most. These seven are so powerful that I really could write a whole book on them. Please do not underestimate them because they seem easy and use common sense. I have taught for over 21 years and the students that follow these tips are always the best ones.
A Final Thought
In my school I teach that it's the small things that make up the big things, the whole is greater than the parts of the sum. What I mean is that, each of the little things by themselves is just that, little things, but put them together and you have a very powerful approach! These seven tips are all good by themselves but together they can really make the difference. So good luck and if there is anything myself or my staff can do to help you please give us a shout.
There are four things you should consider before you add supplementary weight training into your workout schedule:
Speed
Flexibility
Endurance
Strength
Martial arts training will naturally help you improve in all of these areas, but many people wonder if they need to add supplementary weight training to increase these areas. The answer is maybe.
The first determination of whether or not you should do separate weight training is how it will affect your martial arts training. If weight training will take the place of your martial arts training, then I don't recommend it (especially for beginners). Advanced martial arts students can make the determination depending on their personal goals.
When you're making the decision, consider this:
You can add weights if you have your martial arts training regime down cold - you don't want your martial arts training to suffer so that you can weight train on the side.
If you do choose to weight train, educate yourself or get a trainer so that you get the most out of your training.
Make a plan before you begin anything.
To make a plan, you need to figure out where you want to improve. You need a balanced body to be a good martial artist, so if you do decide to add supplemental training, it should be to improve this balance. Is there a part of your body that is not up to par with the rest of your body? Do you have plenty of endurance but lack speed?
Here's an example of what I mean. I had a student that had perfect form. She was worried that her technique wouldn't work in a real situation. She practiced slow and accurate movements, so the answer for her was to start training for power or speed to make her movements more real-world applicable.
In the "old days" martial artists were not "purists" if they did strength training along with it. The thing is, even in the Shaolin temples, the Kung Fu practitioners had exercises like moving granite balls and doing hundreds of movements with iron rings on their arms - itsounds like a form of weight training to me.
If anyone tells you that weight training will harm your martial arts training, they are only right if you stop or reduce your martial arts training to weight train. If you break your training down into sections and focus on the parts of your body or goals that you need to balance your body, then you can train accordingly without affecting your martial arts training. If you're still not sure whether or not you're weight training affectively, just make sure you do an hour and a half of martial arts training for every hour of weight training you do.
Well, it's that time of year again when seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is starting to affect us here in the Northwest. Even though SAD has been noted as early as the late 1800's it wasn't actually given a name until the 1980's. That doesn't mean people haven't been suffering from it, however. Seasonal affective disorder is mostly caused by the lack of light people are exposed to this time of year. Our brains secrete a hormone called melatonin which, at increased levels, can cause symptoms of depression. This hormone is produced when your body is exposed to dark, so it makes sense that its levels rise in months when the days are shorter.
The full-blown seasonal affective disorder is thought to affect as many as 10 million Americans every year. They suffer the debilitating symptoms of depression through the fall and winter months which recede to less-drastic or non-existent symptoms in the spring and summer. Other people get the winter blues which are milder forms of the symptoms of depression such as gaining a little weight, feeling sleepy or having difficulty focusing during the fall and winter months when the weather gets colder and the sunlight gets shorter (especially with all of the rain we get).
There are many different methods of treating SAD such as light therapy (either using a special artificial light or arranging to get natural sunlight during the day), herbal aids, altering nutrition and getting the right amounts of exercise. Some methods work better for some people than they do for others, but one method that tends to help people feel more energized, less sleepy, more able to focus and concentrate and less likely to overeat and gain those extra pounds is martial arts.
Martial arts is a special kind of activity that not only treats, strengthens and improves your physical health, it also treats your mental health as well. People who practice martial arts need to be able to concentrate and focus on their training because martial arts is not an activity that you can do mindlessly. This concentration and focus eventually carries over into all other parts of your life. Furthermore, the physical exercise you get while training martial arts is energizing and will help prevent you from gaining those extra "winter pounds" that many people dread. It's worth it to give it a try because you'll feel better, mentally and physically, and when the weather gets nice in the spring you'll be ready to hit the outdoors with a sense of energy that you finally didn't lose over the winter.
If you think you might be ready to try a martial arts school out, then we want to make it easy for you. Call and set up a no obligation interview with one of our professional program directors. If the interview goes favorably we offer all new students a FREE two week introductory program. We do this for two reasons. One so you can safely try it out and two so we can design a personalized program for you and make sure you are going to be a good student. You see we don't except just anybody, we do screen our students. This allows us to teach a higher quality martial art to serious students who want to learn the right way.
So call and make an appointment to speak with one of our professional instructors to see if we are the right place for you. 1-800-508-6141 and we will set you up with a no obligation interview.
Be a Detective: Here are some signs that your child might be a victim on bullying:
Your child suddenly becomes less eager to go to school and shows this by asking to stay home or by faking illness. Your child may also cry before or after school for no apparent reason.
You notice that your child is missing possessions or money and doesn't have a good explanation as to why they are gone.
Your child begins having sleeping problems including bedwetting.
Your child is more irritable than normal and/or begins showing little interest is social activities.
Your child's grades and/or classroom behavior begin slipping.
You see the physical signs of bullying such as bruises, cuts, scraps and torn clothing.
Know the Types. Bullying is not just a physical act. There are many different types of bullying:
Physical bullying includes hitting, shoving, kicking and threats of other types of physical harm.
Verbal bullying usually involves name-calling and mocking.
Emotional bullying is quite common among girls. It's subtle and often includes social exclusion and rumor spreading.
Cyber bullying is rather new, but it is still harmful. This is when kids harass others through email, instant messages and chat rooms.
Identify Likely Targets. Some kids are just more prone to being targets of bullies than others. Common characteristics of bullied kids include :
those that are physically small and less likely able to defend themselves
those that are physically different such as overweight, prone to acne or required to wear glasses or braces
those who are shy, passive and easily intimidated
those who don't quite follow the "social rules" that kids set up such as kids who have habits that can be annoying to others or kids who become known as the class "tattle-tale".
The second thing you can do to help your children is give them the skills they need to help themselves:
Control their feelings of anger and frustration. Bullies thrive on the power they hold over other people and when they see their targets get upset or angry, it fuels their need to continue bullying.
Stress that they should not fight back. You child could be seriously injured especially if the bully is older, stronger or bigger than your child. Besides, fighting back can cause more problems such as school disciplinary actions or even legal issues.
Teach your child how to "walk tall and walk away". Role play with your child by having him or her tell the bully to stop and then to confidently walk away - and to stay calm during the whole thing.
Encourage your child to talk to others about it such as a guidance counselor, teacher or coach - someone your child trusts that can also give them some solid support.
Remind your child to use the buddy system. If there are certain times of the day that your child is bullied, have him or her enlist a few friends to stick by his or her side during that time.
Unless you have been bullied it is truly hard to understand what happens. One way that you can teach your kids all of these skills is through martial arts. I should know. I was a 98 pound weakling until martial arts change my life. I was always the small kid during school up to my last year of high school. When I was bullied I was always told I brought it on myself. I admit, I was a little out of control, but asking people way bigger than me to beat on me? I don't think so.
When I started martial arts I thought I finally would be able to give it back to these guys! What I learned was much different, however. I learned in a respectful way that fighting back was not the way to work out your difficulties and there always is someone bigger or better than you.
I also learned how to control fear. After all, two or three times a week I was pairing up with people that where good martial artists and applying self defense techniques that worked for me even on bigger people. I learned how to deal with violence with out all the emotion that often blinds us from making the correct decisions. I still remember the power I felt when I walked away from a fight, not because I was afraid of the person but because it was the right thing to do and I was afraid of hurting him. It was way different than what it was like when I walked and sometimes ran away from them because I was afraid they would hurt me.
Ben is further proof that the right influences and right "training" can help your kids learn how to handle a bully. Ben's story has a happy ending, but what if things were different. What if Ben's mother did not take his feelings seriously or told him to handle it himself? He might still be being hit everyday or he might still be fighting with the bully everyday. What if Mr. Keu had commented on the fact that Ben turned to fighting to solve his problem. He could have told him he did a good job which would have encouraged it even more. Worse yet, he could have reprimanded Ben for fighting which could have made Ben feel bad and confused about his choice and methods and, in turn, unlikely to continue to try to stop the bullying the next day. Instead, both the mother and Mr. Keu remained calm and continued to encourage Ben to do the right thing. They gave him the support and skills he needed to handle the bully and get him to stop - the same advice given to parents by child development experts as well as the same skills taught to kids in martial arts.
Training martial arts is by no means the only form of combating bullying. It's just that martial arts build back self esteem and make the person feel like they can control the situation giving them personal power. Martial arts teaches children to control their emotions and their bodies. It also gives them an outlet for their pent up emotions. And should they have to use it, they do have effective self defense skills ready to go.
However not all martial arts schools or martial arts teachers know how to teach these traits. Picking a school is not as easy as just going to the nearest school and enrolling your child. It could be the most important decision you make for your child and it needs to be researched. I don't have the space to go into it here but you can go to our web site and download a free guide on picking a martial arts school. Whatever you do please visit more than one school and ask the instructors how they would handle a bully.
If your child seems to acting different don't just pass it off as moodiness or a common characteristic of his or her age. There could be deeper issues and believe me they could be life changing.
Would you know if he or she was? Bullying is a real problem: The National KidsHealth KidsPoll reports that 33% of kids say they are bullied at least once and a while 8% of kids say they are bullied every day.
Kids who are bullied are likely to suffer from low self-esteem, depression and anxiety. They often have difficulties with their social development and school performance. In fact, kids who are bullied are likely to drop out of school or even attempt suicide to get away from the bullying. They constantly fear when the next "episode" will occur and this fear can lead to health problems. Kids who are bullied are also quite likely to become bullies themselves.
Despite all of this, many parents don't even know what's going on because kids are reluctant to talk about it. As a martial arts instructor, I see parents coming in asking for advice on what to do to help their kids who are being bullied. I'd like to share some of my ideas with you, but before I do, I want you to read this letter from a parent of one of my students:
Ben and the Bully
Monday morning: "I don't want to go to school today, Mommy!" "Why not?" I asked. "Isn't it fun playing with the other kids and doing stuff? You usually love pre-school." "I just don't want to go!" Ben said. "Maybe it will be more fun than you expect. How about just giving it a try?" I said. "Okay. But just today."
Monday afternoon: "How was school, Ben?" I asked when he got in the car. "Terrible!" "What happened?" I asked. "Everything happened! Just like it usually does. I hate school and I don't want to go anymore!"
This went on for several weeks. Whenever I asked what was wrong, Ben would say, "Everything!" but would not give any details.
Finally, one weekend while we were out playing with friends, he opened up a little bit: "Does something bad happen at school that you don't like?" I asked. "Yes," Ben admitted. "Does another person do something that you don't like?" I said. "Yes," Ben said. "Is it a boy or a girl?" I asked. "Boy." "Does he hit you?" I said. "Yes, and when I ask him to stop he won't stop! He keeps hitting me. He comes after me and hits me more." "Have you told the teacher?" "Yes, but then he hits me again after she leaves." Mary, Ben's friend, came over and said, "Ben just lets him do it. He doesn't make him stop. Everyone at school likes Ben. But Sam always hits him. Ben just walks away when he does it."
The next day, Monday, on the way to Kung Fu (Ben had been going to Kung Fu for about four months), I asked Ben if he wanted to talk to Mr. Keu about Sam. He said, "Why would I want to talk to Mr. Keu?" "Maybe he would have suggestions of how to deal with Sam," I said. "Well ... okay," Ben agreed, grudgingly.
After class, Ben talked to Mr. Keu. Mr. Keu, after hearing Ben’s story, said, "Ben, here's what I want you to do. When Sam hits you, you tell him, 'Stop doing that. Stop hitting me.' Tell him to stop." "What if he keeps on doing it?" Ben asked. "Then tell him to stop again," said Mr. Keu. "Keep telling him to stop. If you keep telling him, I guarantee you, he will stop." "Okay," Ben said enthusiastically.
The next day, Wednesday, when I picked Ben up at school, his disposition was completely different. He was relaxed but confident. "How was school?" I asked. "Fine, Mommy," Ben said. "Did you see Sam today?" I asked. "Oh yea. I saw Sam today alright," Ben said. "And ...," I said. "Mommy... I had to take him down," Ben said confidently. "How far down, Ben?" I asked. "All the way down, Mommy," Ben said. "What happened?" I said. "Well, in the morning when Sam started hitting me I told him to stop, just like Mr. Keu said. But he didn't stop. So I told him again. He still didn't stop. So I told him again. He still didn't stop. So I told him again. He still didn't stop. I told him five times to stop, Mommy, and each time I told him, he kept on hitting me." "What happened next?" I asked. "I jumped on him and pushed him down to the ground. Then I sat on him so he couldn't hit me," Ben said. "What happened next?" I said. "Well, Sam started crying. He was crying really loud," Ben said. "Were you crying?" I said. "Yes, I was crying a little bit. But not as loud as Sam," Ben explained. "So what happened next?" I asked. "The teacher came over, and she put Sam in time out," Ben said. "Did she put you in time out?" I said. "No. Just Sam," Ben said. "I went and played with other kids." "What happened next?" I asked. "That was it," Ben said. "So he stopped hitting you after that?" I asked. "Yes. Until the afternoon," Ben said. "What happened in the afternoon?" I said. "Sam started hitting me," Ben said. "Again?" I asked. "Yes, Mommy. So I told him to stop. He didn't stop. I told him to stop, again. He didn't stop. I told him to stop, again. He didn't stop. I told him to stop, again. He didn't stop. Twelve times I told him to stop. He didn't stop." "So what happened next?" I asked. "I ran and put my belly on his back while he was reaching for the doorknob of the playhouse. He moved and then we both fell on the ground. We were rassling. He rolled on top of me, and I rolled on top of him. I got on top of him so that I was on my knees walking on his back so he couldn't move." "What happened next?" I asked. "He started crying," Ben explained. "Were you crying?" I asked. "A little. Sam was crying much louder," Ben said. "So what happened next?" I asked. "The teacher came over and put Sam in time out," Ben said. "Was it the same teacher as in the morning?" I asked. "Yes. It was Miss Suzie," Ben said. "Did she put you in time out?" I said. "No, just Sam," Ben said. "So what happened next?" I said. "That was it," Ben said. "Did Sam hit you any more after that?" I asked. "No, Mommy," Ben said.
On the way to Kung Fu that afternoon I told Ben that he should tell Mr. Keu what happened at school today. Ben was reluctant. I told Ben that Mr. Keu would be interested and would want to know. Ben agreed, though with much hesitation. My sense was that Ben was concerned that Mr. Keu would be upset at him for fighting. After class, Ben talked to Mr. Keu and slowly told him his story. Mr. Keu said, "You did fine, Ben. But next time I want you to tell him twenty times to stop. Okay?" "Okay!" Ben said enthusiastically. On Friday, I picked up Ben at school. "How was school today," I asked. "Fine, Mommy," Ben said. "Did Sam hit you today?" I asked. "He tried," Ben said. "So I told him to stop." "Did he stop?" I asked. "No. So I told him again," Ben said. "Did he stop then?" I asked. "Yes. He stopped, Mommy."
The first thing you can do to "bully-proof" your child is to become informed...
Cyber-bullying uses technology to spread rumors, hateful messages, excessive teasing or even disturbing digital photos (taken on camera phones). It's a dreadfully harmful form of bullying and can be debilitating for its victims. As adults, we can quite easily delete and ignore offending or disturbing email and text messages, but children and teens cannot do this as easily. Children and teens need acceptance and thrive on reputation, so even one harmful message can make them feel horrible about themselves (and it rarely just stops at one message).
Cyber-bullying adds another dimension to bullying because the offender can stay anonymous. Many times children and teens are more likely to do things through technology that they would never do in person. They often don't think past themselves, the computer and the keyboard. What's even worse is they cannot see their victims, so they have know idea what kind of effect their messages are having on others. It makes it easier for them to continue bullying and to even take things too far.
There are many forms of cyber-bullying:
Sending cruel and threatening message directly to the victim.
Creating offensive websites about a person including mocking jokes, stories and pictures about the "subject".
Posting pictures and asking others to make nasty comments about the person.
Taking derogatory photos in the locker rooms (often undetected with camera phones) and spreading them throughout the school.
Fighting with and stalking people by sending continuous messages.
Daring people to do things that they normally wouldn't (or shouldn't) be able to do... including suicide or participating in school violence.
Victims of cyber-bullying suffer the same effects of victims of "traditional" bullying: low self-esteem, depression, problems with school achievement and behavior and the tendency to become bullies themselves. However, the extreme viciousness of online bullying can cause the effects to be so much worse for several reasons:
There is no escape from cyber-bulling. It can come at its victims 24 hours a day.
Bullying and rumors can be forwarded and viewed by so many people in so little time.
It's quite possible and quite common that the victim doesn't even know
